Match Report 

Yateley Reserves (2) – (2) Fleet Spurs Vets

Flying in the face of tradition this is one of those things where it proves good things don’t come to those that wait, or that good things come in small packages.

Dylan Thomas, Welsh poet bloke once  described Swansea as  “an ugly, lovely town“. That’s very similar to how observers see the Vets. Drawing a second parallel, Swansea is officially the 8th least romantic destination in Britain, the Vets are the 4th least worst in the league.

This week saw a fairly different line up brought on by holidays, personal commitments and apathy. With an emergency goalkeeper from the Scoot school of football fag warmups we lined up against Yateley for what feels like the 5th time in 2 weeks.

Starting games has never been our strong point but for some reason we gave it a go. We started well. We passed. We attacked. We soaked up attacks. Phil soaked up some leakage where his Tenna for Men had slipped a little.

Our keeper starting most of the attacks for us by unleashing what can only be described as a foot like a traction engine. Launching the ball further than a Dyson clearance he caught both the oppositions defence and our own strikers out.

You’ll be incredibly surprised to hear that I can’t remember the first goal, I’m told that ‘Better than the average Scoot’ scored the first. I remember his second, the ball bouncing out to him near the edge of the box where he lifted it over the defenders and keeper into the far corner to make it 2-0. With the midfield working hard and defenders proving more resilient than Clinton’s candidacy the strikers had a bit more freedom to buzz about like swell fed flies.

With a strong desire to get all players a good run out we made some arbitrary subs at half time, Dan F taking one for the team by only coming on for 3.42 minutes before imploding and coming off again with a back injury.

Proving that Vets can’t maintain anything for 90 minutes we conceded to the mounting pressure in the tail of the second half, one well taken run at the defence from a spacious midfield and one bundled bag of crap of a goal leaving it 2-2 and on reflection probably a fair result.

Burkey blew his top at the capitulation before realising that the steam from his ears was impacting his ‘up do’. Rapidly calming down and getting his hair back under manners.

Not many monkeys this week, it would be harsh to give it to myself for a lackadaisical lay off to Lee with the outside of the boot. How was I to know he was slower than Usain Bolt and not telepathic. I think the fact it was 20 ft away from him made the pass look worse than it was.

Unanimous Man of the Match this week, Spavo dusting off his left foot and owning left back, whilst never any doubt when defending, next to Spavo, Phil looked on edge for the entire game, I put it down to the ketamine he takes at Moo Moo’s on Friday nights.

Goals : Matt Scoot (2)

Mom : Spavo