Hmm, going to need to get a wriggle on, my back hasn’t helped…details below campers. No excuses, November may be busy!
After 10 days of back issues I feel clinically qualified to express my opinions on childbirth. I put my back out, or rather it went into spasm last week and after the extremely patient Steve and Andy from the Surrey and Hants ambulance crew pumped me full of morphine I had an afternoon of suppositories, tramodol, diazepam, codiene phosphate and gas/air in a&e.
With a party trip to Barcelona looming, doped up to the eyeballs the very capable ladies at Durham House managed to crack, massage and strap me to a point whereby I could fly.
The weekend in Barcelona was nice, I remember about an hour of it, there was an hour on the beach and then a couple of hours lying in the apartment staring at Dora the Explorer which is surprisingly shit in its native language. Total alcohol consumption on my 40th away day with my life long friends? 4 pints.
Another week back here experimenting with the various combinations of the prescriptions I’ve been given and I can confirm that tramadol makes you think you’re ok until you actually move. Codiene does nothing, but diazepam is the clear winner, taken alongside co codamol it makes everything alright, timing the drop with driving is an interesting scientific experiment but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it nailed.
So, back to childbirth on two fronts. The drugs bung you up, I nearly passed out after the 5th day of nothing happening and I’m pretty sure I lost a major organ during that movement, apologies for the coarse summary. I’m now awaiting my second and I’ll be wanting an epidural.
Secondly gas and air is an absolute waste of both gas and air. If you ladies get offered that to assuage the pain levels then you have my absolute sympathies. I’m pretty sure it’s just something to put in your mouth to shut you up. Which could be related to how you got in that state I suppose.
In summary, take diazepam, watch unicorns flit gaily across hallucinogenic meadows, kick back and have a Caesarian.
This post is generally meant as a thank you to Surrey & Hants Ambulance service, Frimley Park a&e and the Durham House Chiropractic team.