I’m sure there’s something built into the human psyche that is there to test mental fortitude. When you have all the choices in the world life ticks along just nicely. When you take something away suddenly everything becomes a vision of what you can’t have. I’ve posted about perthes before and I think that may be the trigger for a lot of my mentality. I never could ‘have it’ so now ‘want it’ more than ever.

I should be grateful for what I have, not focusing on what I’ve lost. After an increasing amount of knee pain I bit the bullet and went to see someone. Diagnosis is likely medial meniscus tear, which short term means I can’t run or ride without pain, long term it likely means season over. People are telling me that next year will be fine but that feels an awfully long way off.

After a steady start to the season my fitness was solid, technique felt comfortable and I had been looking forward to doing myself proud come September in Wales. Now that seems pointless. Why would I race something if I can’t give 100%.

The local half marathon, canceled. My first A-Race of the season, the Paris Marathon, canceled. It sounds daft but the hardest piece was driving home in the sun today and seeing people running and riding in the beautiful weather and I can’t do anything. Until I can get the MRI done I guess I won’t know but I’ve lost 3 weeks of training so far and it’s not feeling great.

It sounds daft but the hardest piece was driving home in the sun today and seeing people running and riding in the beautiful weather and I can’t do anything. Until I can get the MRI done I guess I won’t know but I’ve lost 3 weeks of training so far and it’s not feeling great.

I guess what really bothers me is my nature. I have a habit of throwing myself into things. If the training goes, then what? Eating? Working? I’m really struggling to see the light here.

Apologies for the nature of this one, but I need to get the feelings off my chest, people have bigger problems than me, but I don’t want to be that guy that coulda been. Looking at this years goals, 20 out of 50 were sports or fitness related. I have to fill that gap.