Match Report : Fleet Spurs Vets Vs. AFC Laffans


In 1984 Nick McFagan lived with Matt ‘Attenborough’ Spavo on an old farm estate near the M3 where they modified old cars. Their favourite, a 1982 Vauxhall Viva which had been heavily modified with gull-wing doors was often seen around the then Camberley circuit chatting up the punters at Joe Banana’s night club and taking them ‘Back to the Farmyard’ for wild parties which they called the ‘Enchantment under the M3’ dances. It so happened that Robert Zemekis was a regular and he took the inspiration to the Back to the Future franchise. Nick became Marty, Atto became Doc and we all know the result.

It’s no coincidence that post his appearance work during the Back tot he Future events this week, Nick McFagan’s appearance in the side twisted the space-time continuum during the match.

A tough draw in the cup with us facing a team running third in the division above our own. With a strong turn out we started brightly enough and created a couple of opportunities, with barely ten minutes past when a cheeky Rastall lob led to their center back handling and being sent off. It was downhill from there. For us. Having missed the penalty we took our foot off the gas and let them start to play. A slick bit of interplay between right back and keeper involving a back pass and a pick up leading to an indirect free kick 5 yards out. They laid it off and smashed it as hard as they could at Dysandro’s face. With the reactions of a cat on acid he defended his money-maker with a forearm. They subsequently slotted away the penalty into the middle of the goal. Realising that they had fewer players and we were a more capable team we eased off some more to allow them a breather. They capitalised, two nil down and 45 minutes to go.

Second Half, same as the first, a little bit faster and a little bit worse

After kicking off the second half with the sun on our backs and the wind in our hair the next goal would be a huge turning point. Doc Spavo predicting the team that scored next would win. They promptly scored. A lofted effort which caught the keeper unaware. Believing it would sail over his head he was suprised when it landed in his arms. So unaware he decided to throw it forcefully into the net. Three nil and a mountain to climb. With Ollie only available for 60 minutes and frankly the only player playing during the first half we had a problem. Not for long though when McFly and the Doc did their thing. With a quick reshuffle they took the clocks back a week and we suddenly started to play. With the opposition singing on the side line, something happened. Ollie who had been on the verge of leaving in a tantrum worthy of last weeks Dynasty reference, time ticked backward, he moon-walked back into the fray and the come back began.

The Earl breaks through on goal

You’ll be pleased to hear that the goals that the details are fairly vague as my memory has been affected by the space-time continuum. The first goal was a goal mouth bundle that our resident Usain Bolt smashed home. Lamborghini applying the finishing touch. The second goal for us I’m relatively sure fell to Vets royalty. A bundling, stumbling run and finish to make up for the two sitters he missed in the first half. I say sitters, they were sitters in the way that it’s possible to sit on a rusty javelin. Possible, but relatively uncomfortable. The third we’ll say was Paulo, it could have been Ollie but who’s interested in details at this point?

Liverpool’s ‘Miracle in Istanbul’ saw them take European glory after extra time and penalties, coming back from 3 down and seeing out the match as a draw before clinching it. Could the Vets mirror the events of 2005? In short, no. We were better than that. We unleashed dapper Rastall with the ball over the top he’d been asking for since 10 minutes in. He tucked it away after a bit of show-boating and we walked away 4-3 winners. Oddly the opposition had stopped singing at this point. The Miracle of Kennels Lane is now stuff of legend.

Final Score – Fleet Spurs Vets 4 -3 AFC Laffans


Again, tough to call when we pull out a win. Dyson takes a nod for falling over chasing a ball in the first 10 minutes. In his defence his feet were in 1985 whilst his body was in 1988 along with Martin’s fashion sense.

Colin gets a nod for turning up late with the kit in a lavender vacuum bag then arguing with the ref whilst the game flowed around him. Only escaping the monkey as it had no discernible impact on the game.

Reg, after 3 seasons of telling people to relax, was in the right place to side foot a sitter high wide and not very handsome. This weeks winner is Hair Majesty Matt Burke, who despite his protestations had a game as ‘alright’ as anyone elses. The clincher though coming as he got tangled up in the kit bag as he stropped across the changing room post match.

Man of the Match normally decided on Teamer post match, but in an ironic twist of fate the standout player isn’t on the Teamer list this week. Feel free to vote for whoever you want, but if you aren’t picking Ollie then there’s something wrong with your eyes. (I will add that Ollie is ten years junior to everyone so it’s not that great an achievement. It’s like winning a game of ‘Stone, Paper, Scissors’ against Jeremy Beadle).


Paul ‘Butter Fingers’ Knights
Matt ‘Hair Butter’ Burke
Phil ‘Body Butter’ Taw
Colin ‘Likes Butter’ Vickery
Nick ‘Likes Butterflies’ Fleuty
James ‘Stings like a butterfly’ Dyson
Richard ‘Collects butterflies’ Etherington Smith
Nick ‘Marty Mc’Fagan
Martin ‘Biff Tannen’ King
Reg ‘Old Biff Tannen’ Leather
Dan ‘George McFly’ Fleuty
Ollie ‘Flux Capacitor’ Rastall
Mark ‘Clock Tower’ Lambert
Paulo ‘New’ Zealand

Back To The Farmyard


We’ve had a few issues with Teamer and it showing who has and who hasn’t accepted. To try to clarify things we’ll be sending out the invites as usual, but on a Thursday we’ll be sending reminders to those that haven’t responded to make sure we’ve got everyone covered. Please check Teamer and your status as we get closer to Saturday and make sure your response is there. Thanks all.