The season started proper with The Vets drawn away to Bagshot. The Vets this year have a larger squad and some potential to do well or at least compete in what is undoubtedly going to be a tough league. The amalgamation of division 2 and division 3 into a super division is somewhat akin to the promise of a Premiership and Scottish Premier super league. The only issue being we are Kilmarnock.

Preparation was key, we had a white board, a subs bench and for once were all on time and whilst perhaps not raring, certainly flinching in anticipation. Jeffsy leading us on a proper warm up which can be credited for zero injuries being sustained of any substance. It can also be credited with emptying Bowers tank, albeit it seems to run on fumes.

The first half started brightly enough, whilst they had the possession we looked reasonable enough in defence. Three attacks later, Pete decided he’d had enough and utilised the full rotation rules and went for a rest. After jogging over to chat to Spavo his statement;

“that’s 20 minutes” was deftly corrected with

“you’ve barely made 10” from our watch wearing Worzel.

The few attacks we had were a result of some long’ish balls to chase. King giving Dysandro a 2 minute head start to get his wheels running before playing a deft ball into the corner. The flamboyant (dress sense) temporary winger chuffed into the corner, slid the defender, received an elbow in the face and conceded the freekick. The resulting shiner giving the appearance of a poor Rocky Horror Show extra. Still in terms of field position it was worthwhile.

1-0 came from a corner, a head back across the area and a relatively unmarked midfielder punting home giving Paul some practice and getting the ball out of the net. Around 35 minutes in a quick throw, and unmarked thrower (we know because Dan told us), a deft cross, a heavy touch and a larrup home resulted in a half time scoreline flattering nobody at 2-0.

In 2010, Motherwell faced Hibernian in the league and after 65 minutes were 6-2 down. Motherwell scored 4 in the remaining 25 minutes to pull a draw and missed a penalty in the process. Taking inspiration from this we returned to the field and let them get 3 more before having a penalty turned down. 5-0, then we started our comeback. We quickly rallied just as the referee blew the whistle for full time. 5-0 but it could have been 6-6 if we’d been better at timekeeping and started our comeback earlier.

A few highlights to focus on…no foul throws, an opportunity for the skipper that looked good with a good pass brought under control with his head, pushing past the defence then finishing with the coordination of the unwanted love child of Mr Tickle and Mr Clumsy

Sticking with the Mr Men theme, Colin put a couple of good runs together before careering into the corner, falling over and with the ball loose at his head, looking up from all fours saying ‘I can’t get up’ before giggling to himself. Mr Jelly.

As for the rest of the gang, Phil provided his now usual parkour display at Bagshot and falling over, twice. Dan made an entire game without turning green, and the worst word that Earl Etherington managed was ‘fiddlesticks’.

 Man of the match isn’t nailed on yet, but both center backs leading the votes tells you either they were robust and up against it the entire game or we have a team of sympathetic voters. It’s not the latter.
I managed to track down an action shot of Phil in his early years.
Monkey Nominations for;
Colin for being unable to stand after a 50m jog.
Pete for lasting 20 minutes, jogging off to be told it was actually only the 10 he’d played.
Phil escapes with double jeopardy ruling as he falls over most weeks.
Jeffsy made a late play for the coveted award with the statement ‘I’ll take the dirty kit, the wifes away so it’ll give me something to do in the evening’ but far and away the winner is our royal striker.
Boldly shouting the question from the sidelines ‘Does anyone fancy a blow?’. Boarding school had very different sub rules for Mr Etherington-Smith (IV)

We came up against a better team and we lost. We may have lost the game, but I would bet that right now we have one of the most united teams in the league. Bring on next week when we face Yateley away. They just smashed Wey Valley for 5. Somehow I think we’ve got a chance.

Paul “Mr Nets” Knights
Pete “Mr Tired” Bowers
Phil “Mr Tangled” Taw
Matt “Mr Beautiful” Burke
Dan “Mr Calm” Fluety
Nick “Mr Meaner” Fluety
John “John” John
James “Mr Eerious Girl” Dyson
Martin “Miss D Goal” King
Richard “Sir” Etherington Smith IV
Mark “Mr Ree” Holgate
Nick “Mr Time Travel” Fagan
Mark “Missed d’bus” Lambert
Dave “Mister Master” Jeffs
Colin “Mr Jelly Legs” Vickery